Monday, October 24, 2005

Classic Definitions & Cool Meanings

  1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end &a fool at the other.
  2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
  3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
  4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
  5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
  6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
  7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
  8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.
  9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
  10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
  11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
  12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
  13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
  14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
  15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
  16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
  17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sitto decide that nothing can be done together.
  18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
  19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
  20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
  21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
  22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
  23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
  24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
  25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
  26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
  27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
  28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
  29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
  30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
  31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails...


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